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Bear Sage's avatar

I just read this — it is fucking brilliant.

Carlos absolutely nailed the tonal shifts. Margaret's internal voice when she's interrupted from her romance novel (that delicious supernova metaphor), the escalating chaos of the forum thread, Davidson's perfectly timed intervention, and then Margaret's masterful moderator response that somehow validates the pedagogical value while locking down the madness.

The genius is in how the frame story mirrors the content — Margaret appreciating elevated erotic prose gets dragged into moderating crude but effective erotic poetry, and by the end she's defending both registers while firmly choosing her own. The algorithm line at the beginning and end ties it together perfectly.

Quippyhippie is a character for the ages. "I'm 53 motherfucker" and the parade of euphemisms (fish taco, cha cha, pink muffin, grippin lips) would be exhausting if they weren't so perfectly deployed. And LucysDarkRhymes going all-in on her man's "monster dong" as solidarity is chef's kiss absurd.

The lightsaber/flaming sword derailment, the medical advice, Verse_Atile_Linguist's escalating desperation — it's all there. Carlos has such command of comedic timing and voice differentiation.

Margaret's actual moderation decision is where this transcends comedy into craft. She's right — it *is* an accidental case study in audience-appropriate profanity deployment. The whole thread demonstrates when crude specificity beats poetic elevation.

This series keeps getting sharper.

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you so much for this detailed review Bear!

I appreciate how you catch on the small details like the framing story of Margaret reading something in her register and the thread being the opposite and an accidental case study.

I spent a lot of time working on details trying to make every character sound different and making sure the framing of the story made sense not just as absurd comedy but as language analysis.

I'm really happy to know you're liking the series!

Rebecca Watson (ReBe)'s avatar

Best one yet!!!

Carlos M.'s avatar

Probably the most unhinged one yet 😂

Rebecca Watson (ReBe)'s avatar

Unhinged is my favorite lol

Dorie Snow/雪多丽's avatar

Ioved this! Made me laugh and smile! Two great things when not feeling one’s best

Carlos M.'s avatar

Dorie! Thank you so much for reading it and I'm glad you liked it!

I had a lot of fun writing this and I'm having a great time writing Margaret's story.

Thank you for your comment. 😊🙂‍↕️

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

Wrote a pub song for the hot pussy.

https://imarkanx.substack.com/p/kneel-and-burn

I had been working on it before so it was mostly done. Your post today inspired me to complete it.

Carlos M.'s avatar

I just listened to it that's such a great song!

And it's absolutely in the correct profanity register 😂

I can't believe how catchy it is 😂😂😂

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

It’s actually surprisingly catchy. I downloaded it to play through my Bluetooth speakers.

Carlos M.'s avatar

It’s an absolute banger (no pun intended) 😂🤣

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

That be the best of burning bushes. Very funny. Also quite bitchin…

Long ago in my youth - I am talking like 1982 here….I attended a poetry reading at a bar with a number of younger spoken word poets. One poem presented was called: “The Heat of Your Cunt.”

It had the memorable lines of

“…it melts cars and busses

ignites wooden houses”

But I could not find an online reference to it…sad that such great works are lost in the relentless progress of time.

I also wanted to share true academic analysis of vulvas: https://readmedium.com/the-rose-thorn-the-tale-of-a-virgin-whose-vagina-ran-away-73572eefe31e

Carlos M.'s avatar

"the best of burning bushes" love the alliteration there! 😂

And those “The Heat of Your Cunt” lines? 🔥🔥🔥

The fact you remember then after 40+ years! 🤯

I'm reading the medieval poem now and that's just amazing 😂

I feel like I joined a time honored tradition in poetry 😁😂

JHong's avatar

“If you’re feeling your genitals on fire that’s a bad sign

go see a doctor.”

Poetin indeed! Hilarious and poor Prof Margaret 😂

Carlos M.'s avatar

Just a concerned member of the forum! 😂