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M3Cents's avatar

Posted by: Chanti (aka M3cents)

Thread title: “Closeted Fuck-Users: Methods for Linguistically Legitimate Fuck Deployment Without Audience Alienation”

Dr. Thornfield,

I’m exploring audience reactions across two different Substack publications; one secular, one theological (one might call them two vastly different spiritual conditions: God and fuck)–which leaves me in a persistent condition I’ve begun calling “the closeted-fuck experience.”

By this I mean: I have a strong internal impulse to use the lexical item fuck, both for emphasis and for stylistic clarity, yet I systematically suppress visible fuck (the invisible fuck, apparently, being safer) in order to avoid alienating readers who may associate the written fuck with disrespect, irreverence, or moral failure.

To clarify, I am not attempting to use fuck to shock or offend; I simply have a high personal need to say fuck (linguistically, not emotionally). In fact, one might say my entire problem is that I am academically fascinated with fuck, while being socially required to pretend I am not.

My research question, therefore, is not “how to study profanity,” but specifically (the distinction matters, unfortunately):

How might a closeted-fuck user strategically deploy fuck in a scholarly manner without causing reader disgust, while still satisfying the internal linguistic urge to actually use fuck?

For example, is something academically acceptable like (and I apologize in advance for the obvious absurdity):

• “I will now discuss the word fuck,”

• “Here, the character appears ready to use fuck,”

or

• “This moment arguably earns a single fuck.”

In contrast, would something like:

• “This is fucking hard,”

be academically inappropriate–even if I’m trying to talk about the function of “fucking” rather than my own personal feelings about how fucking hard it actually is (and it is actually fucking hard)?

A secondary issue: do euphemisms (“f—k,” “eff,” “frick,” “f*ck”) preserve enough fuckness to still count as fuck analysis, or do they reduce the term to a kind of polite almost-fuck, thereby undermining the very fuck under examination (the examination being my entire problem)?

In short: is it possible to be linguistically honest about fuck without repulsing people who do not personally wish to encounter fuck–while still allowing the fuck-inclined writer to actually use fuck?

In summary: how might one say “fuck” publicly without looking like one is trying to, well, fuck with people?

I promise this inquiry is sincerely academic.

Thank you in advance for any linguistic insight.

Chanti (aka M3cents)

Carlos M.'s avatar

LOL, this is amazing and so perfect to discuss!

Thank you so much Chanti (aka M3cents) 😁😂

M3Cents's avatar

I seriously hope Dr. Thornfield answers, because I’m a “closeted fuck” and these questions aren’t jokes, I actually need guidance. 🥲

Carlos M.'s avatar

Isn't this a great opportunity to use this for both learning and fun at the same time? 😂

Brenda - A Voice that Wonders's avatar

Oh I laughed… bloody brilliant!❤️

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment Brenda!

If you laughed, I did my job 😁

🫶🫵Kry5tyn🖕🫵's avatar

this is hilarious, carlos 😁

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, I'm so happy that you read it! Please submit something and I'll include it in an upcoming post! 🥹

🫶🫵Kry5tyn🖕🫵's avatar

lol 🤣🤣☺️☺️☺️ oh hell.

yes sir i will lol

expect it tomorrow:)

Carlos M.'s avatar

Yay! I'm so looking forward to it! 😁😁😁😁😁

Bear Sage's avatar

This was Fucking brilliant, fucking comedy gold with a strong dose of fucking satire. What fun fucking read.

Sincerely fucked

Bear Sage 🤣

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, really happy to see you join the fun Bear! 😂

I just love analyzing language 😂

Kelly Courtez's avatar

Ahh this was so much fun! The breakdown on the lingusitic use and meaning of the "fucks" even made me consider my use of swears in my own writing lol. All these character felt distinct which is so refreshing and an exemplar of your writing talent. Brilliant!

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you so much for reading and commenting Kelly, I'm so happy to know you liked it!

I'm thinking about making this a series so it's great to have some feedback and see what people liked and what they didn't. 😊

Becky Hayward's avatar

This is absolutely brilliant!! Hilarious!

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, I'm really happy to know you liked it Becky!

Thank you for reading and for your comment, I greatly appreciate it. 😊🙂‍↕️

Fiona Bridges's avatar

I'm keeping this one in my saved box. LOL

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, that's quite a compliment, thank you Fiona! 😂

The Blossoming Bean's avatar

That was really fucking amusing.

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, thanks! There’s more coming now and I’m having a lot of fun 😂

Carlos M.'s avatar

THAT WAS HILARIOUS! 😂🤣🤣🤣

Osho was analyzing the word 19 years ago, damn! 😂

Lol, thanks for sharing Shayne! 😂

Ink and Light by Nat Hale's avatar

What a bittyshuckfuggery. I never realised fuck was such an adapbtable word. Loved this.

Carlos M.'s avatar

It is! It's absolutely fascinating and it deserves to be given its credit! 😂

Kristina Ray's avatar

Fucking brilliant!

So engaging. I really loved it.

When I first began reading, I thought this was based on something true. 😂

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, I'll take that as a huge compliment!

I'm so glad you liked it 😂

Linda Blatnik's avatar

I love when intellects collide with current language humorists.

This is so much fun to read

and fucking hilarious.

Thanks!

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you so much for the comment Linda!

I love analyzing language and absurdist humor. I'm glad you enjoyed it. 😊

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

A crap boring day and then I see Carlos has posted. Always a good time. And is it ever! A fuck storm of fucking comedy. Fanfuckingtastic! Diving deep into appreciate usage of curses and cusses. Fucking nailed it.

💯🤣😉

Carlos M.'s avatar

Hahaha, thanks for such great comment my friend!

I just had to get it out of my system since I had the idea in my mind for a while 😂

Rebecca Watson (ReBe)'s avatar

“Can you measure fucks? The semantic ambiguity is fucking endless!” This was the perfect line!!

Carlos M.'s avatar

It's an honest question! I say we need more academic discourse on fucks! I mean... the word fucks... 😂

Meow Factor by Edith's avatar

There is linguistic research on swearwords, not my field though

Carlos M.'s avatar

I figured there had to be 😂

I'd 100% join that because I have both sincere interest and find it hilarious at the same time.

Meow Factor by Edith's avatar

If I didn't research cat-inspired language, I would do swearword research.