27 Comments
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Darkly Dreaming Klar Nett's avatar

Oh this was trully stunning. The form was straightforward but the beats so precise, definitely pulled at my heartstrings. The occasional rhyme sneaking through was a quiet delight

Carlos M.'s avatar

Absolutely straightforward but intentionally so. The emotional weight is there for the reader. 😊

Bougie Hippie's avatar

killin me with this Carlos:

My poetry—

my graveyard of tears.

Carlos M.'s avatar

Cyn! Always happy to see you!

Feels like that sometimes doesn't it?

Bougie Hippie's avatar

almost always…

Mondayswife's avatar

Love the image!!!

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thanks! I wanted something that captured the contrast of the poem and I was happy to find that one.

Stephanie M. Vargo's avatar

Beautiful.

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you Stephanie!

I’m glad you liked it. 😊🙂‍↕️

Rebecca Watson (ReBe)'s avatar

Ahh my coffee has never tasted better 🤣🤣 beautiful work as always 💚

Carlos M.'s avatar

I live to make your coffee taste better 😁😂

Rebecca Watson (ReBe)'s avatar

Add it to your resume 🤣

Carlos M.'s avatar

Imma add it to my LinkedIn 😂🤣

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

All poems are about cats. Chasing cats. Herding cats. Feeding cats. Petting cats. Catfishing…

Burying our favourite cats in poetic word graveyards. Excellent poem sir. Great structure and use of echo to build up longing, regret and melancholy.

Carlos M.'s avatar

The inevitable cats of poetry! I love that! 😂

I like playing with structure in my poems. I feel like this poem is simple in the words and themes but the structure is what builds the journey.

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

As you might have noticed I love solid structure. The formatting of the poem is part of the poem as much as the words. In this instance I saw each stanza as a headstone, a marker in the graveyard of meaning.

Solid, monumental, and brooding.

Then the short couplet is the epitaph engraved on each marker. “Here lies..”

Carlos M.'s avatar

Yes! That's exactly right!

I wanted it to feel like someone walking through a graveyard, telling the story of what's in the grave and then reading the epitaph.

The format also helps so the change at the end feels earned instead of coming out of nowhere.

And I have absolutely observed and always appreciated your love for structure. 😁

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

Well you nailed it. Grand slam.

It’s interesting how this poem itself is very simple. No grand language. Just everyday words saying everyday things we all know and feel.

But the true artistry, the real craft is in the form and the flow. The layers evoking deeper meaning on each reread.

Carlos M.'s avatar

I was reflecting back to my last week’s collection and the even simpler two-line poems and some of those are like ten to twelve words. I was thinking about what was the strength of those poems and think the strength is that those poems reveal the poetry inside the reader more than any poetry I can write.

I think this poem is similar. It’s almost cliché with many words and ideas appearing in my poetry before.

But the reader associating those words to their stories… I think that’s where the real poetry is found.

I like to think if anyone’s written a poem about heartbreak, they can read this poetry like it was about them.

My very first draft for this poem was three lines! “And I wrote poetry / so my heart could say the words / your heart would never hear”

And then it evolved to this 😅

imarkanx || istvan markan 🍁's avatar

Check out my poem today. 6 lines. 15 words

An entire lifetime.

Echoes From The Fire's avatar

I haven’t been seeing your posts lately. This was a great piece. Thank you for sharing it.

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate that!

It’s odd you haven’t been seeing my posts… there’s been a few 😅

Regardless, I appreciate you reading any of them. 😊🙂‍↕️

Gary L Taylor's avatar

Beautifully done. I loved reading that.

Carlos M.'s avatar

Thank you for the encouraging words Gary!

Happy to know you liked it. 😊