You are absolutely right, having someone as a friend is a gift and a privilege, and when we find a good one, we should take care of that relationship like it’s precious, because it is.
I’m grateful every day to be able to call you friend.
(Please don’t kill me for being allergic to cats 😅)
Yes, having friends is a privilege. Having friends that stick by you even when you're down is an even bigger privilege. That's why we should really act in a way that shows how we value that relationship.
And don't worry, your life is safe... for now... 😒
An excellent post and deeply moving. Honestly, the one doing the blocking was your “friend”. You took on the burden of maintaining connection and it was never returned. Friendships last and grow because effort is made by all involved the friendship. If only one side is invested, only one side is listening, then it’s no longer a relationship. It’s two people with history. And nostalgia only gets you so far.
I write this after recently having a similar epiphany with someone I had considered a friend. I suddenly realized I always initiated “getting together” unless they needed a favour. If they needed something I was suddenly important to them. To them I was never a priority and always a convenient option. I stopped messaging them. The last message from them was asking if I could give them a ride “out of town to a family event.” I regretfully declined.
I hear you on that experience. I've been there too with friendships and relationships where I stopped reaching out and never heard back from them.
I think for me it's also the wisdom of being able to admit that I could be this for someone else and in my mind, make an informed decision on whether I want to find a way to fix things or not.
I found myself sitting uncomfortably with parts of this, not in disagreement, but in recognition.
The reminder that people don’t always hurt us intentionally, and that impact can still be real even when intent isn’t. That access can be lost quietly, without a villain, just wear and tear.
Your piece feels less like a justification and more like an act of stewardship, of energy, of presence, of the people who depend on you. That came through clearly.
Thank you for writing this with so much honesty and restraint. It gave me a lot to sit with.
Always nice to see your comments and talk with you.
I always intend my posts to help people reflect. I don't believe in heroes and villains when it comes to most interactions, we're all just flawed humans interacting with other flawed humans and trying to navigate our flaws.
I'm also a father so a lot of what I think it's from the perspective of someone trying to pass whatever wisdom I have to others.
I'm glad this gave you something to sit with. 😊🙂↕️
This was so well written; it's very eloquent, and very insightful. I've never like the idea of cutting people out of my life, but sometimes it is the best decision. I've also had a hard time blocking people online because, like you pointed out, it feels so confrontational and final, but I've learned it is necessary at times.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable enough to share this with us. I think this piece will be helpful to a lot of people. Many are going through this, but haven't had the frame of mind to reason it out, but your article helps tremendously with that process. I'd also like to echo what PancakeSushi said, You do have a gift for explaining relationship dynamics, and many people could benefit from what you have to share on the subject.
I'm so happy you read this Kristina! I always appreciate your comments.
I think I just don't think in terms of blaming people, just in terms of human nature. I'm not perfect, I try to have kindness to talk about anyone's shortcomings because I know I have shortcomings, so these are my reflections trying to understand humanity. 😊
This really hit me. I can feel what you’re saying about setting limits, holding space for yourself, and not letting people drain you. It’s hard to realize that sometimes, no matter how long you’ve known someone, it’s okay to step back and protect your energy. Thank you for putting this into words it’s a reminder I needed today about valuing my own peace.✨
This is such an fantastic insight into what so many people tend to struggle with. That anchor in their lifes that is weighing them down. Your words are raw, real and also heartfelt.
Sometimes letting go is apart of life, even when you are the one looking after ppl.
Sometimes, even with our best intentions, we grow apart from the people we grew up with. You can't possibly be the same people you were 30 years ago when you met and the new versions of you just don't click the same way. That's okay. I'm so glad you are protecting your own peace, recognizing where your energy is valued, and making conscious decisions to move in the direction that's best for you and your family. <3
Yes. He has to want it too. I’m sad for him to lose a friend in you. Behaviors have consequences though, and we all have to recognize what we bring (or deplete) from a dynamic.
God, and I thought I was just awkward at talking to people. I've noticed you're far more refective in our brief interactions, whereas I still lack EQ, probably. I appreciate you offering this reflection, helps to have some context, Carlos
In a way it's many things I wish I could have told my friend. I could probably write a follow-up where I talk about all the ways things we nurture relationships and strengthen bonds.
I think there's a lot of misconceptions when it comes to human relationships.
You are absolutely right, having someone as a friend is a gift and a privilege, and when we find a good one, we should take care of that relationship like it’s precious, because it is.
I’m grateful every day to be able to call you friend.
(Please don’t kill me for being allergic to cats 😅)
Yes, having friends is a privilege. Having friends that stick by you even when you're down is an even bigger privilege. That's why we should really act in a way that shows how we value that relationship.
And don't worry, your life is safe... for now... 😒
Blocked.
🤣🤣🤣
An excellent post and deeply moving. Honestly, the one doing the blocking was your “friend”. You took on the burden of maintaining connection and it was never returned. Friendships last and grow because effort is made by all involved the friendship. If only one side is invested, only one side is listening, then it’s no longer a relationship. It’s two people with history. And nostalgia only gets you so far.
I write this after recently having a similar epiphany with someone I had considered a friend. I suddenly realized I always initiated “getting together” unless they needed a favour. If they needed something I was suddenly important to them. To them I was never a priority and always a convenient option. I stopped messaging them. The last message from them was asking if I could give them a ride “out of town to a family event.” I regretfully declined.
Thank you for writing this. It provides clarity.
You didn’t block. You simply reclaimed yourself.
I hear you on that experience. I've been there too with friendships and relationships where I stopped reaching out and never heard back from them.
I think for me it's also the wisdom of being able to admit that I could be this for someone else and in my mind, make an informed decision on whether I want to find a way to fix things or not.
Sometimes it's the only option even when it hurts
Absolutely true Sara.
Even when it hurts.
I know… had to do the same…
I'm sorry. It's never easy.
I found myself sitting uncomfortably with parts of this, not in disagreement, but in recognition.
The reminder that people don’t always hurt us intentionally, and that impact can still be real even when intent isn’t. That access can be lost quietly, without a villain, just wear and tear.
Your piece feels less like a justification and more like an act of stewardship, of energy, of presence, of the people who depend on you. That came through clearly.
Thank you for writing this with so much honesty and restraint. It gave me a lot to sit with.
Chanti!
Always nice to see your comments and talk with you.
I always intend my posts to help people reflect. I don't believe in heroes and villains when it comes to most interactions, we're all just flawed humans interacting with other flawed humans and trying to navigate our flaws.
I'm also a father so a lot of what I think it's from the perspective of someone trying to pass whatever wisdom I have to others.
I'm glad this gave you something to sit with. 😊🙂↕️
This was so well written; it's very eloquent, and very insightful. I've never like the idea of cutting people out of my life, but sometimes it is the best decision. I've also had a hard time blocking people online because, like you pointed out, it feels so confrontational and final, but I've learned it is necessary at times.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable enough to share this with us. I think this piece will be helpful to a lot of people. Many are going through this, but haven't had the frame of mind to reason it out, but your article helps tremendously with that process. I'd also like to echo what PancakeSushi said, You do have a gift for explaining relationship dynamics, and many people could benefit from what you have to share on the subject.
I'm so happy you read this Kristina! I always appreciate your comments.
I think I just don't think in terms of blaming people, just in terms of human nature. I'm not perfect, I try to have kindness to talk about anyone's shortcomings because I know I have shortcomings, so these are my reflections trying to understand humanity. 😊
That is exactly why your perspective is so needed and appreciated. 😊
This really hit me. I can feel what you’re saying about setting limits, holding space for yourself, and not letting people drain you. It’s hard to realize that sometimes, no matter how long you’ve known someone, it’s okay to step back and protect your energy. Thank you for putting this into words it’s a reminder I needed today about valuing my own peace.✨
Absolutely!
In my mind and heart it's a lot about how much you can shrink yourself for someone who doesn't appreciate said shrinking.
Yes last year I stopped doing that I don’t shrink anymore specially for people who wouldn’t appreciate it anyways but maybe just expect it gross 🤮
Bro,
This is such an fantastic insight into what so many people tend to struggle with. That anchor in their lifes that is weighing them down. Your words are raw, real and also heartfelt.
Sometimes letting go is apart of life, even when you are the one looking after ppl.
Great article.
Bravo.
Marc, I'm so glad this resonated with you!
I appreciate your comment and your perspective and I agree, sometimes letting go is a part of life.
Thanks for your comment!
Keep up the work bro
Thank you for sharing this personal tale and its lessons. I imagine/hope it will help a lot of people.
Thanks Gregory!
I hope it does help people. I want to reach out to people who may be going through something similar and maybe they'll feel some self compassion too.
Sometimes, even with our best intentions, we grow apart from the people we grew up with. You can't possibly be the same people you were 30 years ago when you met and the new versions of you just don't click the same way. That's okay. I'm so glad you are protecting your own peace, recognizing where your energy is valued, and making conscious decisions to move in the direction that's best for you and your family. <3
That's true, time can do that. Thank you. 😊
Your words made me pause and reflect a bit, I resonate with many parts my friend
Thanks for reading and I’m happy it made you pause and reflect Aaliya!
I’m sorry I know this was likely hard, no matter how justified you know it may be. Our time and energy is finite. Protect your peace.
Thanks Natural IntelliJhong!
Yeah. It's hard for people like me who want to help others, but there's just so much you can do for someone who's bent on doing things their own way.
Yes. He has to want it too. I’m sad for him to lose a friend in you. Behaviors have consequences though, and we all have to recognize what we bring (or deplete) from a dynamic.
I do hope he figures it out 🤗
God, and I thought I was just awkward at talking to people. I've noticed you're far more refective in our brief interactions, whereas I still lack EQ, probably. I appreciate you offering this reflection, helps to have some context, Carlos
Awkward how? hahaha 😅
In a way it's many things I wish I could have told my friend. I could probably write a follow-up where I talk about all the ways things we nurture relationships and strengthen bonds.
I think there's a lot of misconceptions when it comes to human relationships.
I think you have a gift for not only explaining it, but carrying it out in real life. You should write that follow up, or series
Thank you, you’re really kind. I appreciate that. 😊🙂↕️
Not at all